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The End or a Blip?

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 20 May 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
End Blip Relationship Frequency Argument

Every relationship has its ups and downs and a few blips along the way are normal and healthy. However how do you know when the problem is more than a blip? If you feel that the problem is getting out of control and might spell the end of your relationship then you need to take a long honest look at what is going on.

Frequency

How often have you been having the same fight? It is a recurring problem or a new one? These are questions that you need to ask yourself when you are assessing whether you are just having a blip in your relationship. If it is the same argument you are having over and over again then you need to address the issue before it eats away at your relationship. You obviously cannot resolve it yourselves so it may be time to seek professional help. If the amount you are arguing has increased in frequency and you seem to be falling out more than you are getting on then you need to try and get to the root cause of the problem.

Severity

Have your arguments got worse? Are either of you resorting to name calling or verbal abuse? Has there been any physical violence? Everybody argues. It is normal and healthy for your relationship but if you are flinging insults around and hurting each other with words then you need to stop. It is not fair or right and you don’t need to put up with it. If there has been any physical violence, even if it was only the once then you need to get out now. There is no excuse for physical violence, however angry or upset your partner is, and you must end the relationship now.

Communication

The only way that you can decide if your relationship is going through a blip, or if its time to end it, is by talking to your partner. A major part of your problem is probably that you are not communicating properly anyway. Sit down and get across your feelings and listen to what your partner has to say. Take it in turns to be the one who talks and the one who listens so you can both understand where the other person is coming from. If you cannot do this without it degenerating into an argument then get a friend, family member or professional to mediate. If you cannot create clear channels of communication then your relationship will not last.

Letting Go

If you come to the conclusion that your problem is more than a blip then make a mature decision to end the relationship. This is not always easy and you may keep wanting to try again and make it work. Problems can be solved and difference put behind you but it takes hard work and commitment on both sides. If one of you is not committed or you can’t get past your problems then you need to move on. As painful as it may be it will make your happier in the long run.

Only you and your partner can decide whether your problems are just a blip or mean the end of your relationship. Talk to each other, communicate and work out what is best for you both.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
@maryn224 - You will need to give it a bit more time. Give yourself a deadline (of course you can still break the deadline if you choose), say a month and revisit the question. Many people have doubts, but if the doubts don't go away then you may need to make a decision to finish. However, you will know if you want to break up with him properly - as you will not have any doubts. Jess.
JT - 24-May-17 @ 3:03 PM
i love my boyfriend a lot. however i am always thinking that we should break up. i'm very happy with him and we rarely fight anymore. we are 6 months into the relationship. whenever we're together it's great i love cuddling and kissing. sex has felt kind of like a chore for the past 2-3 days, but i'm sure it's just a blip. how can i be sure that i shouldn't break up with this guy? i really don't want to, but i seem to be obsessing over it
maryn224 - 20-May-17 @ 5:45 PM
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