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Coping When Children Leave Home

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 20 Dec 2010 | comments*Discuss
 
Coping When Children Leave Home

You have seen them grow up so quickly from helpless babies into young adults who are ready to fly the nest. Although you know the day will come, nothing totally prepares you for the moment that your children leave home. Not only can it be difficult to deal with personally, it can also put a strain on your relationship. Suddenly it is the just the two of you in the house and it can take time and patience to get used to the new living arrangements and re-discover each other.

Get Ready For It

Nothing can prepare your fully for the feeling when a child leaves home but as you know it is coming, you can take steps to make the transition easier. As you child gets older, make sure you allow them more freedom and get used to spending less time with them. Although you may want to see them as much as possible before they go, smothering each other won’t help anyone. Start joining groups or filling your time with activities so you have something to concentrate on when they are gone.

Lean on Each Other

When a child leaves home you feel a certain sense of loss and these feelings can be difficult to deal with. Your first reaction may be to draw back from your partner or spend all your time calling your child. Instead, try and share your feelings with your partner and help each other through the transition. The two of you need to pull together and work on creating a new reality for yourselves.

Re-discover Each Other

Do you remember why you fell in love? What did you do together before you had children? Starting a family totally changes your life and it is easy for your whole life to revolve around you children. You will probably find that you have trouble re-connecting with your partner without the children around. You need to find out about the people that you both are now, as individuals and realise that you can have a relationship with each other again.

Fill Your Time

One of the best ways of re-discovering and re-connecting with your partner is to spend time doing fun things together. Find a mutual interest or make the effort to take part in what your partner likes doing. By filling your time with new adventures, not only will it take your mind off your child leaving home but it will also strengthen your relationship. Whether it is a round of golf, a weekend away or watching a film, now is the time to enjoy life as a couple again.

When you have spent so many years raising children and your life has revolved around your family, it can seem like a great void has opened up when they leave home. Instead of drawing away from your partner, use the time to re-connect with each other. Spend time doing fun activities together so that you keep busy and learn to have fun as a couple.

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