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How to Revive Your Sex Life

By: Maggie Lonsdale BA (hons) - Updated: 11 Oct 2012 | comments*Discuss
Life Health Women Exercise Sexuality

A healthy sex life can give you a boost in many areas of your life – your skin looks brighter and clearer, you have more energy, you feel more positive about your self-image, it’s great exercise (especially for those tricky stomach muscles) and your moods are more upbeat.

So why do so many couples find it hard to fit regular sex into their daily lives? When there are so many benefits to having regular sex, it is worth understanding why you and your partner have allowed it to slip down the schedule of importance, rather than just continue to let it slide.

Understand Why You Have Neglected Your Sex Life

Before you are able to rectify the issue, you need to understand why you have neglected your sex life. At this point, you are probably shrieking ‘Because I’m far too busy!’, but are you really too busy? Do you still find time to watch Eastenders or fix the washing machine? Why is your sex life the first thing you drop when you get busy?

If the reason you have neglected your sex life is less to do with time and more to do with inclination, think about what might help that. If you no longer want to have sex with your partner because either one of you has put on weight, go on a health kick together. If you have been having difficulties in other areas of your relationship, your sex life can suffer, so work on those issues.

Leave Behind the Daily Grind

Many people find that daily life just seems to get in the way of maintaining a healthy and enjoyable sex life. They are too tired to have sex when they go to bed, or are too worried about the children/the tax bill/work worries.

Getting out of your daily routine can really give your sex life a boost. If you can afford to, a holiday can make all the difference – sun, sea and sangria is far more seductive than appointments, Asda and apple juice. If your fund will not stretch to a week away, even one night in a hotel can help you remember what you saw in your partner in the first place. Take some clothes and underwear that you feel good in, have a nice meal in a restaurant and talk about issues other than those that are difficult. A great way to enjoy the evening is to take time to shower or bath together in the hotel room before dinner, perhaps with a tipple from the mini-bar. Put your make up and nice underwear on and make sure your partner sees you looking seductive – sex before dinner helps take the pressure off you later and you can enjoy the evening.

Change Your Routine

Although going for a mini-break is a great way to revive your sex life in the short term, this is not really a cost effective solution in the long term. Here are a few suggestions for quick fixes that will fit into your everyday life.

Join a baby sitting group and enjoy a bottle of wine and a film together (not a violent film!) without the kids to interrupt you.

Draw up a housework rota so you don’t feel domestic chores piling up – this helps you feel cared for, rather than a domestic servant.

Treat yourself to some new underwear – those grey, saggy old things are not the most seductive.

Get fit - if you are overweight and unhealthy, you are less likely to have a healthy sex life. Get some exercise and your intimacy quota will increase, too!

Be comfortable with your sexuality - too many women forget that they are sexual beings - their lives become about working, being a mum and running the home.

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