Growing Apart & Changes in Feelings

Everybody dreams of meeting their soulmate and living happily ever after but unfortunately life doesn’t always happen like that. People change and so do their feelings. Even though you have been madly in love and perfect for each other when you first met circumstances can make you grow apart and sometimes you have to admit that you can’t give each other what you need any more.

Growing Apart

There are many things that can make couples grow apart. Most often it is just the passage of time and the changes that life brings with it. Perhaps you have both developed different interests and don’t seem to do things together any more. Maybe one of you got a new job that has caused you to change or develop a new set of friends. Sometimes it is a big life changing event such as a tragedy or illness that has made you re-evaluate your beliefs or values. Such events can also push you apart when you each deal with grief or loss in different ways. Whatever it is, the first step it to admit that it is happening. It is still possible to save your relationship if you work together to create common ground. You could take up a new hobby together or share each other’s interests. It may feel like you are only taking small steps but slowly you will re-discover why you were together in the first place. If you decide that the distance is too far grown then it may be best to amicably split and pursue your own life as the new person you are.

Changes in Feelings

When you fall in love it is the most exciting and satisfying experience and you think you will feel that way about your partner forever. Unfortunately life is a lot more complicated than that and feelings have a habit of changing. You may not be able to put your finger on why exactly you feel differently. Often there isn’t a big event or argument that leads up to it but a slow gradual shift over a period of time. If your feelings have changed you need to decide what you want to about it. If you still want to salvage your relationship then you need to talk to your partner. They are likely to shocked and upset and it is advisable to see a counsellor to help talk through your feelings. If it is your partner who has had a change of heart then try not to be angry at them. By approaching you about it they are trying to fix it and by being confrontational you will only push them further away. Try to understand how they feel and work with them to fix it.

Time to Go

If your feelings are too far gone to go back then you may have to make the decision to leave. This can be an emotional experience for both partners and be disappointing, upsetting and frightening. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adapt to the new situation. When you have been with someone for a long time the world can seem like a whole different place when you face it alone. Build a support network of friends and family but try not to attribute blame. By doing so you will only alienate your partner and make it more difficult for all involved. Focus on your future and what you want to do to live a fulfilling life. Growing apart and changes in feeling are never easy but whatever the outcome, with patience and understanding you can get through it and come out the other end smiling.